The People Pleaser

One more week goes by, the agreeable person smiles politely, thinking, well, after having already agreed to it, he has to do it now. How he wished he had said no, how he wished he had been able to think clearly and quickly when asked. He tortured himself with frustration, why do I always do this? Not once does he relate it to his mother’s put downs and snide remarks. How she felt so cold when he was a child, how she had a knack of making him feel incredibly unsafe, afraid for his 6 year old safety, making him completely compliant, in a useless attempt to make her happy. He smiles politely, accustomed to walking on eggshells, he remains compliant in general.  Another day, another project he does for whoever asks. He wants to help, he tells himself, but sometimes he wants nothing more than to leave. Another week, in the job with verbally abusive coworkers and a boss who pays him peanuts and demands all of his time, calling him late night about work. The next day he happily accepts the project that requires overtime hours. He is relieved that he will not be fired for failing to answer the 11pm phone call. He doesn’t mind being passed up for a promotion again. He understands, he tells himself, the new guy who got it went to college after all, he didn’t.

One more week, he will finish the projects for everyone. He will champion excuses for their deplorable behavior. Everyone loves the agreeable person, even the agreeable person, he tells himself...