Don’t Let A Skewed Perspective Stop You

Most of us have skewed expectations of what we “deserve”. Either we expect so much that it’s an improbability or we expect too little and sell ourselves short. The fact is that where we stand right now, we most likely do not deserve anything that is way over the top. We can and should work toward those things, but they are not things that we deserve just because we exist. When we look around at all the different types of media, and see so many that are making ridiculous amounts of money, we think to ourselves ‘Hey! I deserve that too!” But it just doesn’t work like that. These people, the ones that we see in the media, have worked incredibly long and hard, they have spent a massive amount of time, money, persistence and dedication to get to where they are. They worked for it. They put the time in. They put the failures that came before the success in. They put the persistence in. So when jealousy rears its ugly head, and we think that we deserve it as much as they do, or maybe even more, it’s time to step back. Instead of jealousy, how about we learn from them? How about we study what they do, or even, ask them! The longer we remain in this entitled attitude (that we have most likely been brought up with or bought into the media hype) the further away from successfully getting it we become. It’s tough to hear, I know, I had to hear it too. But without getting this through, you will not get want you want. “Oh, you’ll meet someone”…not true. “Don’t worry, you’ll make more money”…nope. These things that we want take effort. They also take knowledge of what to do in order to get them. They don’t just happen. We don’t just deserve them because we exist. The work must be put in in order to become the people that have these things. We must see ourselves in the state of reality that we actually are in instead of the “ I’m such a good person, I deserve it” world that we have convinced ourselves is true. First, being a good person has nothing to do with getting what you want. Second, it’s almost a 99.9% truth that we are not the fantastic people that we think we are. Take the time out, journal it. Think about it every day until you start to see yourself for who you are. Ask yourself repeatedly, how does my boss see me? How do my family members see me? How do my friends see me? How do my neighbors see me? How do my colleagues see me? I’m not saying they are all correct either. All people deal with their own pain differently, and most do not ever look at themselves honestly at all. When you begin to do that, you will not find people to be helpful. You cannot ask someone else because their view is skewed as well. But you do need to think about how they see you, and why. This will help you to stretch your perspective to include something that could flip your current view of yourself on its head. The best part of this is that once you do this successfully, you can actually work to change your trajectory into becoming the type of person that gets all that you want.

Do you want that guy? Do you want that girl? Become the person that the partner you dream about would love. What qualities would you need to have for that person you dream of to be interested in you? Do you want that job? Become the person that a job like that would search out. Find the training that you need. Go above and beyond at all times. Do you want that money? Immerse yourself in studies about money. What about that house? What is needed for the house? Finances. Begin there, and the same for that car. What steps are you going to take to get there? What system are you going to follow? Who will you choose as your mentor? Because figuring this out from the same perspective that caused it will not break you free. Reach out and find the right mentors.

So much work to do, do not wave your hand and say “I’ll start tomorrow” only to forget about it tomorrow. This is your life. No one else can live this for you. I don’t care if you’re 80, it’s never too late to start.

~Janice M. Burke

Image by Ian Panelo (Nothing Ahead)