Seeing Narcissists Everywhere? There’s a Reason For That

Don't you just love it when people try to tell you that the narcissist picked you out for a specific reason and that they don't go after just anyone??? It's such a laugh. These people go after anyone at any time. They are master manipulators. Master liars. They can con a seasoned politician just as easily as they can con the homeless man on the corner. It doesn't matter to them who a person is because they can easily size them up. It's all a game to them. It's not a certain energetic that attracts them. They are in it for the game.

They don't discriminate. They don't need a deep, meaningful reason to target someone. They know how to read people instantly, adjusting their tactics to whatever works in the moment. Whether it's pity, admiration or fear, they exploit any angle that gives them control.

When the narcissist meets someone who can see right through them and who speaks out boundaries in such a way that makes it clear to the narcissist that they recognize their manipulation tactics, this can be a slight deterrent...but rest assured, they will try anyway. Your boundaries must be reinforced with every interaction so as to eventually make them lose interest.

There's just one thing to remember: the world is filled with mostly good people. After experiencing a relationship of any type with a narcissist, it's common to question if everyone is like that. You begin to see it everywhere, in everyone. You can also begin to see it in yourself because part of what they do is blame shift and gaslight so much that you begin to think that it's you who is the problem. Though it's possible you may have taken on some of the traits of narcissistic parents, families, friends or partners, this does not mean you are a narcissist yourself. These traits infiltrated society long ago, and are now embedded in cultural thinking. Because many of these traits have entered society, it does not mean that those who carry them are lost causes.

Can you hold out some hope for each person so that you can better experience the goodness at their core? Can you see with understanding and witness how everyone is affected by these things? Let's get it right so that when you communicate with others, you do so with compassion - with an understanding of how the other person, no matter who it is, got to where they're at. Whatever words come from their mouth, can you get to the point of understanding what is really happening underneath...so that their words drop to the floor, dead, instead of becoming daggers in your ears?

~Janice M. Burke

Image by Ben Mathis Seibel from Unsplash