Soul Star

There is so much I remember from when I was at my worst. I was in my worst relationship. I was in my worst state of mind. I was in the worst depression I have ever been in. My understanding of life was at its worst. Everything was the worst. I remember how I would start fights. I remember how I had no boundaries at all…with anyone. I remember how I drank. It was a long, long time ago. I did have other worsts since then. They were different than that period of time. I remember them and now when I see or hear something that sparks my memory, I wonder about it. I think to myself “ I used to think that”. I am amazed. Today I am so different. It’s like night and day. I have even been shifting my hours from night to day. Why am I saying all of this now? I just want others to know that their worst doesn’t last forever…unless they do nothing at all to change it. Me? I did all the things. Many years of therapy, journaling, reading, thinking, meditating, listening, searching, searching, searching. Many years of spiritual immersion. Continuing my self education with podcasts, books, audible, YouTube, Grant Cardone’s Sales University that I never thought I would go to because I never thought of myself as having any interest in that. I discovered all these things because I never gave up. Though I said “well that’s the way it’s gonna be forever and ever” many times…I did keep going anyway. I had become so intensely honest with myself that it shocked even me as to who I was uncovering. But this process of being genuinely honest with yourself comes over time, it requires layers of truth. It’s not just one simple, big uncovering, because all the input from friends and family and neighbors and colleagues and society has a say. It is really layers of other peoples beliefs, not just our own. This is partially why it’s so difficult to get the root of. It’s easy to see these things in other people and point them out yet unbelievably difficult to see that same thing in ourselves. When we think we might see it, most times we push it away and say no that’s not me! This is where the biggest problem lies. How can we change it about ourselves if we are convinced it is not us? 

It’s possible if we try and don’t give up, to extricate ourselves from the worst of situations, from the worst of the worst. What we find at the end of the rainbow is the Extraordinary Soul Star called by our own name.

~Janice M. Burke

Image from Wix