The Key To Quick Reaction Times

Those who have experienced trauma often have very different reaction times than most. Depending on the situation, some reaction times will be supersonic fast, other reaction times will be ridiculously slow. This all has to do with which trauma memory the body is experiencing. If we feel that we are in danger, emotionally, mentally, spiritually or physically, we can move away so quickly, it can feel blinding to another. 

However, depending on the situation, we can also move very slowly. This part is tricky, because, for many of us, we have been brought up in abusive situations that we could not leave because we were children. So, naturally, as we grew into adults, we remained and even felt “comfortable” in toxic situations. It wasn’t as though we wanted those situations consciously, but our bodies (where trauma is stored) and our subconscious minds understood what it was, and therefore felt “safe” in it’s familiarity.

When we begin to set boundaries as part of our self-healing, our reaction time begins to get ever so slightly faster every time we do this. It becomes easier to say what we mean, easier to deal with the other’s blowback. It becomes easier to not apologize for setting the boundary in the first place because we want to smooth the situation over. It becomes easier to hold on to what we know to be right, even when the other person’s reaction creates a negative effect on those around us and they choose to take sides, though they know nothing of what actually happened. It becomes easier to take time and look at the situation objectively, to understand and accept the reality, fair or not, and choose if we will stay or go. This is very different from running away. This is us making a conscious, well-thought out decision, one that is not filled with drama or fear, one that has handled things correctly and bravely from the beginning. This is us, in full realization that boundaries are not meant to keep others out, but instead to help us decide what we will and will not accept.

~Janice M. Burke

Image by Fernando Vega