The Power Of Anger

When we have no control over a negative or toxic situation, our coping mechanisms can kick in. Anger is a common initial reaction. This is part of fight, flight and freeze responses. Anger tends to make us feel artificially powerful. We are always looking for that way to feel powerful in a situation that we have absolutely no control over. This is why anger is so high on the list. 

Next we have evasion. This is what many of us have had to do when faced with a dire circumstance. Maybe we had to run away from a dangerous situation, or maybe we had to change the subject, so as to avoid a severe response to us actually having our own opinion about something. These are flight responses. Flight does not have to be a physical running away but can be a mental, emotional or spiritual one as well.

We can also become silent and retract into ourselves when aggressive sounding or acting people take over the conversation or push, tower or use other threatening body language, vocal tones or pitches, or words with the intent of dominating us. Though we tell ourselves that we are doing this because we know that the other person cannot actually hear us because of where they are at mentally or emotionally, this is only partially true. The bigger part of it is that it is a coping mechanism that we developed as the trauma was happening to us. It’s easier to remain silent than to take a chance of incurring the toxic persons directed focus against you. This is more commonly referred to as the freeze response.

Most of the coping mechanisms that we use, stem from these three. Thinking about what yours are and see where it fits in so it can be an immeasurable help to your positive growth. Keep your eye on the prize. The prize is you.

~Janice M. Burke

Image by Jose R. Cabello