The Power Of Deactivating Your Buttons

Who are these mysterious haters? We all know them well. They are prevalent in the online world. So many of us just feed into them. Most of them are young. Before the Internet, back in the stone ages, or, anything before the 1990’s, people like this didn’t have much influence at all. Where I grew up, they were just bullies who hung out in front of the local convenience store, giving random people a difficult time. They were told to leave by the shopkeeper and the police would come by and kick them out if need be. It’s not like that anymore. There are no neighborhoods where anyone’s mother can yell at anyone’s child if they’re up to something no good. There are no restraints.  And when things are in text and the right keywords are used to inflame others, it’s a free for all. This is when adults feel free to chime in as well. Who knows? Maybe these adults are those kids that were kicked out of hanging out in front of the convenience stores. 

The question is not how do we stop it? The question is when will we question ourselves? When will we stop becoming reactive to children? It doesn’t matter how old the person is, because they are thinking and expressing themselves in the same way that children do. 

If we don’t learn how to stop becoming reactive to our own buttons, we are doomed to forever become the emotional toys of these bully children of all ages.

It is no longer up to the shopkeeper, it’s all internal now. Find those buttons that get you easily riled up and ask yourself the important questions about them now, preemptively, because they will be pushed, there’s no one that will stop it. Write those reactive situations down and sink into each one of them. Write extensively on each one. Ask yourself why it bothers you, then ask why that bothers you and why your next answer bothers you and keep at it until you stand at its core. Talk it out with a good therapist. Because, this is not a thing that will stop its own accord. Your peace of mind and joy in life all depend on this. There is not one of us that does not have a button that can be pressed. Do what you need to do to be your own shopkeeper.

~Janice M. Burke

Image from WIX