The Webs We Weave

When your goal is to learn about yourself, this is done by both trial and error and seeking out teachings. Trial and error can be a long process. It’s something in which you become the spectator of your own actions yet are not mentally or emotionally there yet to be able to change them. This can last painfully long. One can watch themselves do the same actions they know they want to release for years before they finally feel ready to make the effort to change. When we do begin to take those initial steps, we suddenly find ourselves paralyzed once again and the same actions are taken. We justify it. We blame it on the other, our tried and true way of dealing with most things in our lives. It doesn’t matter how far into recovery we are, this is just what happens to a human who is working to change their subconscious. Trauma is kind of like a spiderweb that goes into different dimensions. Just when you think you got to the root of it, you find yourself unable to take the steps that must be taken. The only way to get there is not to force the outward thing you are trying to do, but instead go back to yourself. Go back to having Integrity with yourself first. Keep your word to yourself. If you say you’re going to do something, bend over backwards to get it done. I am not talking about those commitments you make to others, those are often easier to keep. As trauma survivors, we hold other‘s opinions of us higher in regard than the opinion we have of ourselves. Most of the time, after we come to a self realization of something we have been doing that we wish we weren’t, we know what the steps are that we need to take. We already know what we need to do, that is not the issue. Learning how to do it and feeling the mental and emotional power that we need to actually get it done is the real issue. Like a crab that moves sideways, this is how the subconscious must be approached.

Here’s how:

1.) Do some form of meditation every morning and/or night.

2.) Get time outdoors, preferably in the sun every day.

3.) Eat healthy foods on a regular schedule every day.

4.) Exercise regularly, preferably every day.

5.) Try therapy and ask for a diagnosis.

6.) Use vitamins, supplements and herbals to assist you in your recovery.

7.) Keep your word to yourself. ie.- If you say, “I’m going to exercise and meditate tomorrow”, then be sure that you do it.

8.) Get on a healthy sleep schedule.

From here is where we will get the internal emotional and mental power that we have been searching for. From here, is where we will speak up in our relationships and be levelheaded when we are addressing things that appear like one of our old wounds. This is the path that can help us to seek clarity with curiosity instead of pointing fingers at those in our life. It’s unlikely it will happen, at least with any lasting success, if we don’t have a healthy love and respect for ourselves first. Forcing it in conversation before we are ready, only makes for plenty more drama in our minds and hearts and relationships. Doing the inner work first helps us do the things we need to without the drama filled chaos, without those sticky webs caught in our hair.

-Janice M . Burke

Image and Modifications by Janice M. Burke