Where We Are Loved

What happens when we continually focus on the people who do not want to further engage with us? We lose our center. We lose our time that could be spent creating a life with people who are interested in us instead. We lose what and who is there in front of us. We become absorbed in frustration and anger, disappointment and worry, trying to prove ourselves and always feeling like we are less than who we really are. We can sit there and try to go through every scenario we could think of as to why they would not be interested. We can fully obsess over it without realizing we are doing so. Our thoughts can become more and more negative as we try to make them out to be a bad guy even when they aren’t. But there are others around us that are interested. When we are focused on this one who is not, we miss all those other people that are. We don’t give the ones that are as much importance in our thoughts. This behavior often originates from an emotionally, mentally and/or physically absent parent when we were growing up.This is why we become so obsessed with this person who is not interested in us. Our brains are continuously searching for that similar dynamic so that it can finally play it out in a way that feels more favorable to us. Of course, this is not the way to do this. Learning how to recognize when this is happening and dropping it and changing course, only comes through learning and practicing Self-Love. This will not be a perfect practice because we are not perfect. Try to be gentle with yourself, and at the same time release those that aren’t interested in you. Allow that void to be filled up with those who are interested for the right reasons.

~Janice M. Burke

Image by Helena Lopez