Wiping The Smile Off The Self-Trash-Talk Monsters

Overcoming the “I give ups” is no easy task, especially for the Trauma Survivor. It takes a monumental effort and coming up against plenty of “I give up” Self-Trash-Talk Monsters. These Self-Trash-Talk Monsters are relentless, ugly beasts who love nothing more than to trip us up, discourage us, put us down and convince us that we can’t. Because they are relentless and never leave our ear, they wear us down and keep us in our “place”. They are often joined by well meaning people in our life…they are also joined by haters. 

We can beat the Self-Trash-Talk Monsters many times, but the second we let our guard down, there they are again. It takes discipline and courage to continue to silence them, but silence them we must. Through the simple act of remembering to use the Tools we have learned on our healing journey, these Self-Trash-Talk Monsters calm down, sit down, shut up and fade into the background. Our Old, Outdated Lack of Self-Care must be countered with the Long-term Tools:

1. Eating regular, healthy meals

2. Regular Outdoor exercise 

3. Daily Meditation

4. Breathwork

5. Healthy Sleep Habits

6. Daily Cleaning and Organizing

7. Daily Grooming 

There are also those Tools that are used when we are in a heightened state of anxiety, anger, depression or even during a flashback. 

1. Breathwork (my go-to is Boxed Breathing; 4 second breath in, 4 second hold, 4 second breath out, 4 second hold, repeat as long as necessary)

2. Somatics such as dragging your palms, fingers together, across your arms, your shoulders, your thighs (I go the direction of the lymphatic system; toward the shoulder on the outside of the arm, away from the shoulder on the inside of the arm and toward the feet on the front of the thighs; killing 2 birds with one stone)

3. Noticing sights, sounds, touch, aromas, taste 

4. Soothing and reminding our Inner Child that at this moment we are safe.

Remembering to use the Tools regularly can sometimes be the most difficult part. It is far easier to get caught up in the world the Self-Trash-Talk Monsters create for us. So when we go off kilter, we need to be kind to ourselves and with a firm, steady hand filled with love, (even if we must begin the action through non-cooperative, gritted teeth) direct ourselves back to our New Discipline and our New Life. The Life that is waiting for us on the opposite side of “I give up”.

~ Janice M. Burke

Image from WIX