You’re Thinking About “Your Type” All Wrong

After the storm, after the toxic people have gone from your life, what then? We say we want a healthy relationship in our life. Yet, we do not even stop to visualize and think about what that would genuinely look like. Instead, we’re hung up on “do they like me?” for whoever our current crush is. This way of looking at relationships will never get us what we want. In order to get that, we will need to hash out, on paper, everything that we do want and everything that we don’t want. This list can build on either side over the course of time, but when it builds, we must write that down as well. When we do this, it helps us to see who we actually do want and who we don’t. Going through this list every morning is essential to helping it to sink in, because that is the whole issue right there. When we find ourselves in the same type of relationship over and over and over, it means that we have not clarified anything within ourselves. Clarification is not just about who we want but it’s also about what we want. The clearer we become on what we actually like, and do not like, what we want, and do not want, the better and more informed our decision making will be; the stronger and healthier are confidence will be.

Holding onto our trauma becomes obvious when it shows through our repeat actions and choices. Trauma cannot continue it’s tight grasp when we are honest with ourselves about ourselves and about all those who have shared any portion of our life. There is joy in seeing clearly. There is joy in thinking clearly. There is joy in feeling clearly. The path to that Joy begins with Clarity.

~Janice M. Burke

Image by Karolina Grabowska